This Guy, That Guy

This Guy on the left if my brother Jim, That Guy on the right is my brother Matt.

It's impossible for me to separate thoughts of my sister from This Guy and That Guy. We grew up together, we're all weird and connected somehow across the miles.

This Guy, Jim is two years older than me. He's married with two kids. The boys are a perfect blend of Jim & Wendy - sweet, tenderhearted and can be silly, like their Dad. Jim is a Training Officer for his fire department. He trains firemen how to do fire rescue things, like repelling off of buildings that are on fire, doing chilly ice water diving for rescue missions, and who knows what else. There is much more to what he does, but those are the scary ones I think of when I think of his job.

Jim is funny, and full of goofiness in our family. He will make me laugh without much effort. He's fun-loving, has strange voices and invents things like 'underwear wars' with his boys. He's the brother that let me live with him when my life was a train wreck in my mid-twenties. My career was fabulous, full of big money and titles, and I had made a bit of a mess of my personal life. I moved in with Jim just 'for awhile' until I found a new apartment.

I slept on his couch for a year. Yes, a full year. My job was still going well but I couldn't manage to move out on my own. Jim let me stay - and took care of me in so many ways. I remember him coming home and dragging me and my teddy bear off the couch to 'get out and about' for movies, dinners, whatever. I cooked and cooked while I was there, worked hard, and would lament over the fact that he would put his sweaty head on my cute little embroidered "I Believe' Christmas pillow, eat right out of a tupperware container without a plate (gasp!), and would generally be a guy.

I obviously moved out and eventually got my life together. What I'm most grateful for in 'the year of my couch time' at Jim's is the friendship we developed and maintain.

He'll call me when he's driving home. He leaves me wacky messages that usually start with, "Listen Rissy, it's your favorite brother Jim,....." and from their he will ramble on the voicemail about his latest pontification on why he is the better brother. Thinking of it makes me smile as I type this.

We have deep conversations about life, family, marriage, faith, and there is always a large does of excessive laughter and goofiness as we talk over each others weird sense of humor.

Jim gets me, forgives me my mistakes and manages to always make me feel welcome in his world and his heart. His wife is a treasure in life - she will sit up late with me when we visit them and just let me ramble about whatever happens to be the topic of conversation. They love our kids as if we see them every day instead of once year.

That Guy, Matt is four years older than me. Matt is also a Officer in his fire department in South Florida. He is a paramedic as well, drives big ole fire trucks and is a force in his fire house and community.

I spent my late teen years and early twenties escaping to Matt & Donna's house whenever I could fly from Chicago. Donna and my brother met when I was 15 years old, they married when I was 19 years old. I have such found memories of visiting them, watching them become parents to my three beautiful nieces. I wasn't married with a family then, so they were the lucky recipients of my time, attention, and probably way too many visits! Donna was the first person to show me so many mommy tricks when Matteo was born. I'm forever grateful for her suggestions, support and love across the miles.

Matt is the brother that is super protective of all of us. He flew to Chicago too many times for me to count to help me move. I had a thing with moving apartments - it was kinda fun to change my location and my family quickly learned to not put my address in ink in their phone books. My favorite moving memory: I was 24 years old, leaving a high rise apartment on the north side of Chicago and Matt had strapped Michelle to a moving dolly and was running her around the hallways of my apartment. Makes me laugh as I type this because I can see Michelle in my head cracking up.

At my ten year high school reunion he was the topic of conversation with some of my guy friends as they recalled how many times they called the house and Matt hung up on them.

Matt's the protective one, but soooo the kid in all of us. When all of our own children are around Matt, the rest of the adults are invisible. He's the 6ft kid to every niece, nephew, and kid within a 5 mile radius. He can make Matteo & Dominick laugh hysterically over the phone within seconds.

Somehow Matt makes me feel like I'm 12 - not sure what I'm doing at times, feeling a bit awkward but always able to make me laugh uncontrollably. He's the brother that sang 'they're coming to take me away ha ha hee hee ho ho' when I started seeing a therapist in my twenties. However, he never failed to make me feel like I would end up okay somehow. He's the brother that I know would get a on plane to help me move or do anything else I might need. He's the brother that when we all gather, wants to get as much out of every experience as we can, as I think he believes life is short and why not have fun in the moment and enjoy each other.

Matt isn't one to have too many sentimental moments on the phone, I do get an occasionally mushy thing in email that makes me smile. I know despite all the humor in him, there is a tenderhearted guy who loves his family, siblings, and good friends. He won't admit it out loud, but he's forgiving, loving and committed to doing the right thing.

Matt is my oldest brother, he looks out for all of us. He makes us all laugh, we're always welcome in their home and they never fail to make us feel comfortable when we trek across the country with our kids and arrive tired, stressed and who knows what else after flying for 5+ hours with 3 kids.

I don't talk to Matt or Donna as much as I'd like to - they are raising three teenage girls in Florida. They live near Michelle, so I sometimes get stories/updates from Michelle as to what they are doing. And, I joined facebook so that I could keep up with my nieces, which has been cool to get a glimpse of their competitive volleyball adventures.

Their three beautiful, teenage daughters.....I remember their baptisms, making Christmas dresses for them, and continue to love them from afar. I know it's hard to find time to to participate in ramble conversation across the miles with teenagers.

This Guy and That Guy - they are my brothers, they are firemen, they love their families, the both can cook like you wouldn't believe, and they are good men. I admire them, respect their families and always, always look forward to when we gather.

So long ago the four of us made a kid promise, to be there for one another. Despite who we have become as adults, our accomplishments, our mistakes, our successes, our failures, that promise has held strong over the years. We stick together - in all our humor, sarcasm, love of family, cooking, laughter, and all. We're family. I love them, I miss them, and wish them all happiness this time of year.

This Christmas season has me lost in happy thoughts and thinking of my family. I'm not sure why, but I'm embracing it - loving the memories and good times.